The trappings of being a prominent conservative political commentator, especially in this era of Gay Hippie-Islamic Femi-Nazi Liberal Political Correctness, are all too alluring, as unconventional ideas invariably lead to instant spotlight and, subsequently, sempiternal fame and continual panegyrics and support from other conservatives. The success of many conservative pundits is proof of these perquisites. Indeed, Ann Coulter is constantly throned on the list of New York Times best-selling authors, Michelle Malkin's website is one of the most visited blogs online, and Rush Limbaugh has thousands listening into his radio pulpit like clockwork. Joining the audacious coterie of conservatives is an instant way to win the hearts and minds of many people who share views that liberals deem "narrow-minded" or "pessimisitc" (which in reality is PC for "realistic"). You see, a common love for something is a uniting factor, but a common hatred is a bonding one.
People contend that conservatives are bitter, racist, sexist and homophobic. However, that is bullshit. Conservatives believe in equality for all God-fearing, virtuous men regardless of their denomination. Further, conservatives are colour-blind towards people of all shades from pale to alabaster. Any disagreement with this mantra is, in reality, mere coating of that disagreeing party's deep disdain for the West and their undying love for terrorists.
However, conservatism is not just about race; it's also a very complex ideology that varies from person to person, yet there are some rudimentary, cardinal elements shared across the board, which should be used to unite the conservative's front in their battle against dangerous opposing views. Being a conservative might be simple, but it is not easy. In the face of the liberal enemies, conservatives ought to always exude rectitude and be propelled by the following instrumental platitudes:
1) Anger and bitterness appeal to wider audience
There is a persistent motif in almost all conservative publications. Anger and fear are natural human responses to danger, and they are the fuelling emotion for these publications, which in turn account for their popularity and success. Indeed, conservatives seldom sugarcoat how they see the world. There is always a constant problem that needs to be inveighed against ad infinitum, be it health care reforms or illegal immigration. Amongst conservatives, niceness and common courtesy are concepts more foreign than Mex-Islamic illegal immigrants. Conservatives like to say it like it is. These are testing times. Nothing is ever okay, and current trends are foreboding. Everything is turning for the worse, and it's all the fault of none other than, of course, liberals. So, don't be a sissy, be bold and rude. Other like-minded individuals will cheer you on for 'saying it like it is'!
2) Unlike minorities, conservatives are not racist
Conservatives have a totally non-racist trends of targeting certain groups who just so happen to be of a variably higher level of pigmentation. The target of conservative posts are usually people who, for some reason, have specific skin tones. Meaning, conservatives do not hate darkies; they just hate certain bad people who just happened to be dark-skinned. For example, fighting against illegal immigrants is not racist. Illegal immigration IS illegal. It's not racism, it's upholding the law when conservatives take a stand, swarthy, Spanish-speaking foreigners, regardless of their ethnicity, hopping their borders and stealing their jobs. And Muslims? Oh please. Islam is a religion, not a race. As such, opposition to these towel head sand niggers is not racist, nor is it racist to call for ethnic profiling of people of the Muslim faith. It has nothing to do with race.
Conservatives are not the racists here; it's minorities, especially blacks, who are racist. These minorities often pull the race card and bemoan their alleged persecution, discrimination and inequality. Even with all the rights they've been privileged with, they incessantly talk about how oppressed they are at every opportune moment. Conservatives support equality for all, including underprivileged straight white males who are often discriminated against, unfairly targeted by society and are perpetually persecuted. This, conservatives believe, is the real racism. Any white person who supports these minorities is most likely a liberal hippie driven by "white guilt" who should be publicly mocked by all conservatives. But unlike minorities, conservatives won't pull the race card when discussing discrimination by minorities and liberals against Caucasian men.
This could be surprising to some, but conservatives are actually more passionate about equality. It is no surprise, then, that conservatives bravely express frustration at gross unfairness and grave injustices in society. Such injustice is most exemplified in the case of the "N-word" (pardon the PC here!). Why, conservatives ponder, is it that only blacks are allowed to use the N-word? How is it acceptable for one group to have the enviable, exclusive privilege of using the N-word? Even worse, society does not bat an eye at a "Black Entertainment Television" but if there were a "White Entertainment Television," all hell would break loose. Even when touted as a noble cause, some allegedly "educational" campaigns like "Black History Month" serve as nothing but to divide, and are proof of unbounded minority privilege. There is no "White History Month" unfortunately, so inequality is here to stay unless conservatives balance this injustice by introducing such a program.
3) The degree of crimes and violence are measured by the perpetrator
Such sound logic is often deemed a 'fallacy' by liberal elite institutions. They belittle this logic by using Spanish words like Dicto simpliciter as a way of derailing the discussion from the pressing issue at hand. And when it comes to violence, contrary to what these liberals say, correlation does equal causation. Any exception to that is just an exception that proves the rule.
One of the problems that plague modern society is violence. These acts are almost always carried out by minorities, especially blacks and Muslims. Statistics show that most prison inmates are people of colour, which is the ultimate proof that immigrants and minorities are the problem, not guns. In these times of trial, conservatives need to address minority violence. These are the people who should not be allowed to carry guns. Guns should be distributed to school kids instead, because it is the only to prevent violence and mass shootings on school campuses. Conservatives strive to defend everyone's rights to use weapons, either by buying them or confiscating them from minorities.
Foreign violence threaten our way of life. When the attack took place in Norway in 2011, we were reminded by the grim reality of the threat of terrorism, perpetuated by the permeating Muslim population. Thankfully, however, it was not terrorism. It was the act of a frustrated Norwegian man who wanted nothing more than to defend his homeland from violent foreigners. Since the degree of violence is determined by the perpetrator, this sporadic disturbance is a simple case of psychological frustration that led to action. As such, conservatives changed their stance on this act. In fact, when conservatives realised it was one of their own, many came to his defence. This "terrorist" act was just "mass murder" by a lunatic. As you can see, this person does not conform to the idea of a terrorist, and his action, as such, is just another case of mass shooting and, quod erat demonstrandum, the crime is defined by the perpetrator, not the crime itself. Remember, only minorities and liberals are capable of terrorism. Other attacks are just random acts of violence by fringe groups or people who are simply trying to prevent foreign threats.
4) Finally, every opposition to conservative ideas is merely a case of "political correctness"
Indeed, the sheer idea that all humans should be treated equally regardless of their gender, colour or sexual orientation will be the downfall of civil society, which is what conservatives are trying to prevent. Conservatives want to preserve their way of life, they believe in God, good religious morals, a divine code of ethics, universal societal norms, and traditional families, where a man is the bread winner and the wife is the food maker. They strive to make the law based on holy scriptures and improve society by inculcating religious morals on children. They also protect their way of life by valiantly standing against the Islamic threat of imposed religious views and limited women's rights. Conservatives want to protect freedom and their way of life, so they courageously try their hardest to achieve that by stopping these menacing gays from being allowed to get married, and women from making their own decisions. Don't let liberals guilt you into their views; they're just being politically correct by demanding equal rights. And be blunt, speak your mind! You have the right to express your opinion. If anyone is offended, well, tough fucking luck. They can't censor your protests, so stand your ground and rightfully voice your protest without fear. For example, if you see sickening scene on TV of two guys kissing, you have every right to, and should, call the network and demand that that show be removed and banned from television.
At the end of the day, you have the right to express your opinion, so speak your mind, and anyone who disagrees with you should just shut the hell up.
Being a conservative pundit is not without its challenges, but it is ultimately rewarding. You will carry that trophy of triumph and bask in your accomplishment whenever a random person online is offended by what you have to say.
